Reclaiming The Past: A New Year Reflection
With the new year, people often make resolutions, plans, and set goals for the coming months. And then, there are all the jokes about how quickly those resolutions fade, backed by statistics showing that most people don’t stick with them long-term or make sustainable changes. It’s not exactly encouraging. As someone who has experienced this firsthand, I know that setting resolutions can sometimes have the opposite effect, leaving the goal-setter feeling worse—wrestling with disappointment and even a sense of failure.
This isn’t a post about how to set better goals. It’s about embracing the present with mindfulness, finding healing in unexpected moments, and reclaiming joy along the way.
Memories That Sting
Have you ever heard a song and felt an ache of regret? Maybe the song pulls you back to a chapter in your life you’d rather not revisit—so you change the station or skip it altogether. For me, it’s not just songs. Movies and certain places can do the same. They stir up memories I’ve tried to avoid, often tied to my drinking, poor choices I made in the past or the memory of a person gone.
Recently, I had one of these moments with a Christmas movie from the 80s. Watching it reminded me of a time when my mom was alive and healthy, before she got sick. We used to watch Scrooged together, and now that movie brings a mix of sadness and love. That combination is painful, and for years, I avoided it altogether. But this year, something shifted.
Instead of skipping the movie, I decided to watch it. Over the next few weeks, I watched it a few more times. Each time, I thought about the past, but I also found myself enjoying the movie again—laughing at parts I had forgotten. I even shared the experience with my fiancé, telling him about the connection to my mom. Sharing not only the movie but also the memories helped me process the feelings that came with it.
Now, when I watch Scrooged, I still think of my mom. But I’ve also made new memories with it. Instead of avoiding the pain, I sat with it until it wasn’t as sharp. In doing so, I reclaimed something I once loved but had pushed away. I let myself feel the discomfort and created space for healing.
Reclaiming the Present
This experience made me realize how often I “change the station” when something feels uncomfortable. I wonder what might happen if, instead of avoiding those moments, I leaned into them. What if I listened to those songs I’ve avoided or revisited places I’ve been afraid to face? What if I allowed myself to feel those emotions fully, let them flow through me, and came out stronger on the other side?
By reclaiming these moments—songs, movies, or memories—I believe we can take back the power they hold over us. We can create new associations and find empowerment in the process.
Healing in the Present
This isn’t about setting goals for the future. It’s about reclaiming the present. It’s about being mindful and allowing healing to happen now. The benefits, I know, will last a lifetime.
Knowing When to Seek Support: Healing with Care and Compassion
While revisiting memories and emotions can be a powerful tool for healing, it’s important to recognize that some experiences may be too overwhelming to process on your own. If revisiting certain memories triggers intense feelings of distress, anxiety, or symptoms of PTSD—such as flashbacks or emotional numbness—it’s essential to seek the support of a qualified mental health professional.
Professional guidance can provide a safe space to explore these emotions, helping you process them in a way that feels manageable and supportive. Paying attention to your emotional responses and triggers can be an important step in identifying areas of your life that may benefit from professional help. Remember, seeking help is not a sign of weakness—it’s a courageous step toward deeper healing and self-care.
Your journey is unique, and there’s no need to force yourself to endure pain beyond what you’re ready to handle. Be compassionate with yourself, honor your limits, and know that healing is not something you have to navigate alone.
Looking Ahead: A Year of Courage, Growth, and Healing
As I move forward in my recovery journey, I want to embrace the discomfort when it arises. I hope I’ll have the courage to sit with it and the grace to accept myself if I’m not ready yet. Healing isn’t linear, and that’s okay.
So here’s to a year full of self-awareness, contemplation, and courage. Here’s to a year of growth, love, and reclaiming the good while letting go of what no longer serves us.
Happy 2025!
